Mar. 30th, 2012 05:36 pm
blood_winged: (N.Korea&S.Korea)
Finally finished Mass Effect 3. It took me ten days to finish all three games, which I think is a pretty good time. There's girl gamers, and then there's me, or so my friend Dayle says. Aha. I actually liked the ending, I thought it was very clever, but there's a lot of things that happened that I'd like explaining. I'm not gonna flip out like some of the fans though, I'm quite happy to wait, because really, for the rest of the games to be that good only for the final five minutes to fall flat because of sloppy writing? I don't buy it. There's something more going on there.

I was sitting in the bloody jobcentre for an hour today. My appointment was moved to 20 minutes earlier, and I was there on time. Only problem was, the person I was meant to be seeing wasn't there, and the person that had taken over his work for that day was downstairs, waiting for me. It was only when she rang up my house and my mum told her that I was actually at the jobcentre that she came and found me. Then I was sat with her for 40 goddamn minutes while she dragged me through the meeting and 'amended' my job seeker agreement to mean that I now have to look for eight jobs a fortnight instead of... whatever it was before. Eight might not seem like so many, but if you've ever been on a job search before you'll know that when you're looking you will tend to run into the same jobs. Over, and over, and over. I know I do.

Also, I dislike the way they seem to tar everyone with the same brush. It was only about half way through the conversation that she stopped talking to me like I was stupid. Sure, I might not have a job but that isn't because I'm incapable, it's because there's no place that will bloody hire me. Eugh.

So I got into the BHF shop almost an hour late, because I was sitting around in the jobcentre for over an hour (I was only meant to be there for 30 minutes), and then I needed to leave at 3.30 because I had to get home to make a phone call that I ended up not being able to make anyway, because it was too late by the time my dad heard back from my aunt and they weren't picking up. Hopefully I can just call tomorrow and that will be okay, if I explain why I'm a bit late. I suppose that's not really much of an excuse since I've had weeks to figure out who's coming, but I still don't know for sure if [ profile] nasty_show can make it... though I hope she can! <3

Blargle o3o


Mar. 28th, 2012 04:39 pm
blood_winged: (Norway 2)
Is it an excuse to say that my life for the past week or so has been totally absorbed by Mass Effect? No? Well... that's what I've been doing. At the moment I'm trying to work up the nerve to go on the ME3 multiplayer. I'm gonna go on it with friends I think because it's just going to be one big kill-stealer fest otherwise, and I don't play multiplayers often enough to be able to compete in that kind of setting.

I loved the first game, though I wasn't so keen on the second. It was too much of a 'find all the things or people die' in a Fable 3 kind of way and nobody wants that. I did enjoy the loyalty missions though and the dialogue was much better in comparison to the first game, as well as all the new alien races and aaah Thane I love him to bits. Though I'm playing as ManShep so I went with romancing Tali. Because I can.

In other news... still no job. I've kind of lost steam with looking for one, as well. It's not that I don't want to work... I just... don't want to work. Bleugh. I can't even get my head around getting into the daily grind of a 9 - 5 job that I probably won't enjoy anyway because there's no jobs that I can currently get into that are even close to what I want to do with my life... but the jobs I do want to do, I can't get because I've no experience in anything ever.

Oh well.
blood_winged: (USxUK - Comfort)
Last year, I met a girl.

She was a funny, charming, intelligent, if slightly naive person with a big personality and a quick temper, but that was okay, because I could always reason with her. I loved her to bits, platonically speaking, and she became my best friend, the person I looked for first when I came online, the person who could always make me smile, the person I went to with all my problems. I spoke to her every day, treating her the same way I treat everyone else.

Then, she started to get possessive of me. Jealous of another friend who I also loved dearly. I could tolerate it, because for the most part it never really came up. I kept those two friends separate in my life and that was fine because they didn't like each other anyway. I would have liked them to like each other, but you can't have everything, right?

I could ignore the possessiveness. I could ignore the jealously. I could even ignore the odd little jabbing comment made towards my other friend. I could shrug it all off because I still cared about this person and I still thought the world of her, even if perhaps I shouldn't have. I wanted to, because I didn't want to lose the friendship.

The first time she told me she had a crush on me I didn't know what to say. I took it in good humour, I thought, but I made it known I didn't feel the same way. At first, I thought she hadn't reacted well, but then later she came back in good spirits and told me that it was fine, and she would just keep on having her crush (I presumed, even if I didn't reciprocate). So everything went along fine for a little while.

But she couldn't just have me as a friend. She wanted something more from me that she could never have.

One day, it became clear that she hadn't been fine with it like I thought. I had allowed her to walk away from me before and let her come back because I cared, and because even though I could let her go without making a fuss, I didn't really want to lose her, but this time I was the one walking away.

And it did hurt. I did feel bad. I did wish it could have happened another way. I would have liked to have stayed friends but she pushed me too far.

I do miss her. It's been months and I miss her. Not how she was at the end but how she was when we were friends. She was a good friend, when that's all she was trying to be.
blood_winged: (Denmark - Oh God)
How was yours? Particularly unlucky?

I woke up to being screamed at that I hadn't done the dishes (because I'd overslept), went down to do them only to be told to go away, so I hid in the bathroom while mother did the dishes herself, crashing them around like they'd done something wrong. I then had a very paltry dinner of a bit of salmon and salad - you'd not think I was the only one in the house not on a diet. I've seen my mother for less than five minutes and she's spent half of that shouting at me, and the rest of it either ignoring me or speaking to me like she might throw something at me. I do the dishes when it's my turn, pretty much every time. I even do Amy's turn when she's out or not up (and Amy didn't even cover for me, thanks kid), and it seems to me that there's no point in my doing anything at all because whenever I forget just one time it's like I never do anything anyway.

Being lazy and being yelled at for it seems like it would be a lot easier on my confidence than doing things and having them completely brushed aside because one thing is forgotten.

I feel so distanced from my family here. They don't know me at all (to take the emo teen angle). My sister and my mother are very alike, they both like soaps, they both like (ew) Twilight, they both like to shop and all those girly things. Me, I'm a nerd. I like Star Trek and computers, and politics and history. Things that mother won't even humour me about. I'm just stuck inside my own head. It's a bit depressing really.

Also my lady week, as [ profile] nasty_show calls it, started today, and I was curled up for four hours with crippling cramp before the painkillers kicked in.. or it went away on its own, I don't know.
blood_winged: (Switzerland - Look)
I think I'm heteroromantic. I look forward to a life of having to explain what my sexual orientation means.
blood_winged: (EnglandxJapan - Blindfold)
Or something. I don't really care, we don't celebrate Halloween over here like a lot of Americans do and at twenty-two I'm certainly too old for it. I don't live in an estate with a lot of kids so we don't really get people knocking on the door (and we're far more interested in Bonfire Night anyway).

I didn't get a wink of sleep last night thanks to being wound up and annoyed over something that I shouldn't have really been so bothered about, so I was tired as all hell this morning, but when mum wanted to go out for lunch I thought 'why not' and went for it, rather hoping it would wake me up. It didn't, really, and I was flagging on the way back home, at which point mother decides to try and talk to me about important things. She always does that. I wonder if she's trying to catch me off guard but she always tries to bring up important topics when I'm half asleep or otherwise impaired. This time it was telling me there was a job in Manchester, at which point I informed her that it would take me two hours, possibly more, to get into the city for a 9am job. Somehow, she didn't know this. Clearly she's never tried to get into Manchester for 9am on public transport.

So I was basically told 'if you can't get a job in Leigh you're going to be knackered'. Thanks mum, jeez, that's really supportive. I have zero desire to end up with a job that I hate, while having to get up at 6am to get there and not getting home until 7pm. My town has no rail link so I'd be relying entirely upon the buses, and there's only one route from Manchester to Leigh that all the buses take. I'm looking at pretty much the same situation in any of the towns around here that I could find a job in which is why I'm hoping for one that's nearby, or 'off peak' hours so it won't be hell to get to. I don't want my entire life to end up being comprised of working and sleeping, because I cannot tell you how much that would mess me up emotionally, as well as cutting me off from all of my friends. Mother would probably snappishly tell me that that is what being an adult is about. I don't agree with that.

Something else she tried to talk about was what was going to happen when my boyfriend comes over. He's already staying in a hotel because she doesn't want him here for the whole ten days, but she's now complaining about having to ferry us back and forth to said hotel because it gets dark early. Maybe she should have thought of that before she said he couldn't stay here, it's not like my not being able to drive is a secret |= Pfh. I don't think she actually knows what she wants. She said something stupid like 'I don't like the idea of you two being in the same room together late at night, awake' and I was just like... for god's sake, what does she think we're going to be getting up to? And even if we DID get up to those things I'm TWENTY TWO and if I WANT to sleep with a guy then I WILL. Jeez. =-=

Anyway, I talked to my dad - as I usually do when I have a problem because he actually listens and I don't feel like he's quietly judging me while telling me to just get one with it - and he's emailed someone at work that he knows worked for Oxford University Press. I've got some addresses that I can write to. Getting a foothold on the publishing industry is really hard x.x

Until then I guess the best I can do is show willing to keep the mother creature off my back. Blargle.

Still got a lot of writing to be getting on with. I'm going to be using NaNoWriMo to be doing a lot of it.
blood_winged: (Default)
I've finally begun making a start on my prompts so expect a flood of fics over the next few days. We have...
  • Eight US/UK
  • Four Sweden/Norway
  • Two France/Canada
  • Two Denmark/Norway
  • One France/Spain
  • One Spain/UK
  • One UK/Canada
  • One Prussia/UK
  • One Prussia/Austria
  • One Spain/US/UK
  • One Mexico/Canada
  • One Lestat/Louis
Spot the odd one out. Ahaha. I should mention I'm still open for more xD I like having things to occupy my time. I'm currently working on finishing Eternal Sonata, Dragon Age II, and Fallout: New Vegas, and have recently finished Fable III after playing it for three days straight.

It's been a bit odd around here recently, for more than one reason. For one my sleeping pattern has turned completely around over the past week, and I've gone from being practically nocturnal to actually having what most people would call a 'normal' sleeping pattern. It doesn't sit well with me, I haven't been sleeping very well. Another odd thing is how my mum's been behaving. I'm tempted to say it's hormones. Yesterday she yelled at me for telling her a pan was oily. I thought it was just me, but after I spoke to my sister I found she'd noticed it too. If it was something we'd done, we'd sure as hell know it.

I don't really want to end up as one of those people who never speaks to their mother after they leave home but to be honest I can see it happening. Of course that requires actually having the money to move out, first... which I don't.

She said today, that she was going to start leaving jobs for my sister and I to do. I should stress here that we don't mind this at all and have in fact been saying for some time that it would be fine if she did it. She said it like we were going to kick up a fuss. Sometimes I just don't know what's going on in her head.
blood_winged: (France - Rain)
Okay, so. It's not tomorrow. It's Wednesday. I got tired. On Saturday I was supposed to be going out with my dad today but I didn't, because he had teh sick, so he couldn't really make the three hour drive up here. I'm not going to complain about it, because it's not really something that he could help. When I woke up at 11.30 and there wasn't someone yelling in my ear to get up because dad was here and waiting for me I was very confused.

I finally took a photo of my new shoes. I've got some mixed reactions towards them and some that I didn't really expect (I thought that my mother would hate them but she surprised me). Generally it's all been good, though. I'm not usually one for wearing shoes with heels but I couldn't resist those ones, they were just too comfortable. I wasn't going to buy them, because psh, I'm not the kind of person who will spend £18 on a pair of shoes unless my other pair are beginning to fall apart, but Amy told me that I ought to and then I whined that she should get them for me, and she agreed to, on the condition that I wear them. I haven't managed to yet, but I will do 8|

I've been trying to take a more positive outlook on my life lately. I've always been the kind of person who is resistant to change, mostly because I find it uncomfortable. I dislike uncertainty, but I figure that the only thing that's ever going to be certain in my life is uncertainty, and as soon as I get over that everything will be fine. It's just kind of hard, 'cause god knows I don't know where I'm going with my life right now but I don't want to look back in five years and kick myself because I didn't try hard enough at a time that it would have mattered the most. I'm comfortable where I am, sure, but that doesn't mean I still want to be here when I'm nearing thirty. This, of course, means applying for jobs, which is an effort for me in itself. Job application forms have always intimidated me because I'm usually staring at them with no idea of what to put in half the sections, but god knows I can't keep getting money off my dad forever.


Anyway. I also bought a new phone. I've been on contract since I was eighteen, but I no longer use my phone enough to justify actually having a contract, so I moved onto PAYG, and for £10 a month I'm getting 300 UK texts, 500MB UK internet and the £10 credit. Works out fine for me, I doubt I'll even reach the limit on the texts. The internet, maybe, since I have a widget running in the background that's tracking my facebook and twitter feeds, but I'm keeping an eye on it. I got the Samsung Wave 525, and I'm putting a picture of it.. because I can. :D I'm using this picture as my background, because it's PrUK, and it's gorgeous, and it fits well on my screen around all my widgets.

I'll be going to the dentist on Friday, and it's been a long time coming, really. I haven't been in over two years and I really thought they would have struck me off by now, but if they try to tell me I need my wisdom teeth removing I'm going to have a few words to say =| My wisdom teeth are fine, even if one of them gives me a painful ulcer every few months. It's set at a funny angle but I just drown the bastard in Bonjela until it goes away.

My hair was cut today, a bit shorter than it's been before. I have this kind of Motoko Kusanagi thing going on, the episode where that guy is fantasising about her and her hair is straight.

I was linked to something interesting today by [ profile] chiisana00. Apparently someone has been posting fanfics on tumblr without crediting the authors (not claiming them as theirs, just posting them with no credit). One of them is mine - you can see the post here and at the moment I'm not sure whether or not to be outraged. On the one hand, it's my fic and I probably should be getting credit, but on the other, they're not claiming it as their so I'm not really sure I care enough to kick up a huge fuss. Maybe I'm just a little jaded as far as things like that are concerned.

Though speaking of fics now that my brain has recovered I'll start working on my alphabet prompts shortly. I probably won't do them all in order, and some will take longer because they're pairings I haven't done before.


Sep. 19th, 2011 02:54 pm
blood_winged: (Prussia - Smile)
Apparently mother gets back tomorrow, not today, as I had thought for some reason. Curse my lack of ability to read calendars properly. John has promised KFC for dinner tonight so we'll see if he actually comes up with it.

In other news, I'm finally feeling like I'm getting on top of everything that I've been wanting to do. It's a nice feeling. I've learnt that not being nagged actually makes me want to do things, but there's no way I'd be able to explain it to my mother since she has this idea that I NEED to be nagged or I won't do ANYTHING.

I'm a complicated person. o-o

This is going to be a writing day today. I can feel it 8)
blood_winged: (England&Scotland - Sleep)
I don't tend to miss people, unless there's no chance that I can get in touch with them. Sometimes I miss my dad. Right now, my mum and sister are away in Majorca and while I don't particularly miss my sister (sorry Amy =P) I have realised today that I do miss my mum. I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to her since I was stuck in the bathroom with a stomach ache and I'm currently wearing her dressing gown because it smells like her. As nice as it has been to have the option to just.. sleep when I want to.. because John doesn't bug me about when I'm asleep.. I still miss my mum.

I've started shipping Mexico/Canada. What is this.

Oh, and a meme. Stolen, naturally.

Alphabet Prompt Meme.

Basically just give me a prompt starting with any letter of the alphabet and I'll write you a drabble about it. You can pick a pairing if you like, but I will reserve my right to refuse it. Please no nyotalia.

Fandoms: Axis Powers: Hetalia, Pandora Hearts, Ghost in the Shell, Fushigi Yuugi, Homestuck, Assassin's Creed (1, 2 & Brotherhood), Fable (1 - 3), The Lord of the Rings, The Vampire Chronicles.

A - Art [Mexico/Canada] ([ profile] mamamia12347)
B - Bewitch [Spain/US/UK] ([ profile] anisaex)
C - College [US/UK] ([ profile] mamamia12347)
D - Dance [France/Canada] ([ profile] medev)
E - Extortion [Spain/UK] ([ profile] anisaex)
F - Fluff [Sweden/Norway] ([ profile] chiisana00)
G - Gardening [France/Spain] ([ profile] berwaldox)
H - "Hello" - Martin Solveig [France/Canada] ([ profile] mamamia12347)
I - 'I want to tell you something' [Sweden/Norway] ([ profile] chiisana00)
J -
K - Kiss [Sweden/Norway] ([ profile] chiisana00)
L - Lights [Denmark/Norway] ([ profile] mamamia12347)
M - Music [US/UK] ([ profile] mamamia12347)
N -
O -
P - Poison [Spain/UK] ([ profile] anisaex)
Q -
R - Ring [Denmark/Norway] ([ profile] anisaex)
S - Staring [Sweden/Norway] ([ profile] chiisana00)
T - Tears [US/UK] ([ profile] medev)
U - 'Us against the world' [US/UK] ([ profile] anisaex)
V - Voice [US/UK] ([ profile] medev)
W - Waterpark [Prussia/UK] ([ profile] berwaldox)
X -
Y -
Z - Zookeepers [US/UK] ([ profile] nasty_show)

Pick as many letters/words/prompts as you want. There are no limits (within reason, please). I know I have a bad history of not actually finishing these things but I am really going to try this time xD


Sep. 3rd, 2011 10:42 pm
blood_winged: (FrancexSpain - Young)
One day I'll figure out how to put interesting titles on these things.

I managed to burn my arm two days ago. Something that I'm (playfully) blaming my mother for, since she distracted me by yelling at me while I was trying to close the oven door with my foot and I touched the baking tray I'd just taken out to my forearm, giving me this;

Isn't that lovely. It only came up like that after about half an hour and it looks about the same now except not as swollen, but knowing how easily I scar, that's going to be one. Ah well, they do say things like this build character. Scars aren't that bad, sometimes. It doesn't sting any more at least, and I doubt it's going to scab up like mum thinks it is. It's just a blemish. o3o

In other news, I finished Alice: Madness Returns. I can definitely say it's an enjoyable game and definitely one for people who enjoy games with collectibles and occasionally frustrating, difficultly timed puzzles involving lateral thinking. It's quite short, but very interesting, and I'll probably play it again when enough time has passed that I don't remember every tiny thing that happened.

Since I finished it I've been watching Stargate SG-1. I'm now on the sixth season after covering about a season per day, and suddenly everything I didn't understand when I was at dad's because we started watching it in the middle of the seventh season is suddenly making sense. I'm probably missing a few things because of how I'm half using it for background noise but I'm getting the important parts.

My Xbox does a weird thing. When it's disconnected from Xbox LIVE (but I'm signed into my account) and I'm watching a DVD, it starts to lag. Not terribly, and it doesn't affect the sound, but it's a tiny fraction of a second jump in the picture every five seconds or so that is just enough for me to notice. I confirmed that it's caused by being disconnected from LIVE when I reconnected once it had started and it suddenly stopped. Very weird. I have no idea why it's doing that, but since I'm pretty much always connected to LIVE it shouldn't be any kind of problem.

Early on in my watching, though not so much later on, I noticed things that amused me. I don't know if it was because of the initial lower budget or what but I would notice that they re-used certain footage, like the lockdown footage - people running, etc. Not seeing so much of that now but one of my favourite characters has left the show for the rest of this season. It's alright though, the guy they have to replace him is awesome xD

Right now, I'm watching Stargate again after being woken up by my sister and her noisy friend Ben playing very loud music and being well on their way to being tipsy. Since they are students and poor they already need to be half-drunk before they leave. Personally I never really had much of a social life when I was my sister's age. Though, I didn't have many IRL friends, either. The only downside of most of your friends being online is you can't go over to see them whenever you like.

And on that note, I'm finally seriously looking for a job. My desire to have money to do whatever I want with has finally overrode my desire to go on living my merry life without any responsibilities of any kind. I might be in for a job at the newsagents just up the road, which would be awesome and I wouldn't be complaining about the amount of money I'd be getting either, but I don't know for sure yet - the owner of the shop has said he already has someone lined up to take the position but if that doesn't work out then I think it will shift to me. He's also concerned about actually being able to afford to take on another member of staff, which doesn't bode well for me since being the age that I am I require being paid more than someone who is younger than I am.

... I just killed a spider. It got inside my keyboard and I squished it under the keys then blew its horrid little body out with some canned air. I've been trying not to kill spiders as much since my bf doesn't like it but if one is in my room then it's gotta die.

I'm gonna stop here before I waffle on any more o3o

Stuff |:

Aug. 24th, 2011 03:10 am
blood_winged: (France - Flag)
I've been at my dad's place since Saturday, and all we've done so far is watch Stargate SG-1. Not that I'm going to complain about it, since I actually quite like Stargate, and it's given me an opportunity to wind down and reconnect with my muses. I'm finally working on fics again, and I'm very much hoping to get through the backlog of unfinished ones that I have sitting around in my documents folder. Not that it's bad to have a buffer of sorts. I don't really want to have nothing to fall back on once I completely run out of ideas... which is of course something that I hope never happens |:

My sister's ill. She's had a cough since this time last week and she's still not managed to shake it. Considering I've been here for the past four days and have therefore been in pretty much constant contact with her, I'm slowly being driven insane. I know it's not her fault and she can't help it, but I'm now so sensitive to the 'UH-HUHU-' sound of her trying to hack up her lungs that it's making me twitch every time I hear it. Normally, we'd be going home by tomorrow or the day after, but we're here for a whole week this time which is unusual. I didn't realise how tense having nowhere to escape to would make me. I've taken to staying up for hours after she and dad go to bed just to get some peace and quiet so I don't snap.

Funny, how much I've become used to being alone. Not that I mind it, I suppose I wouldn't normally be in such constant company (even in a workplace) so it's only normal that I get a bit unnerved by it. I'll just have to deal with it until Saturday then I can hermit in my room all weekend and set my brain back to normal.

Turns out I haven't been struck off at the dentist, and I have an appointment now to go on September 29th. Just as well I suppose since I haven't been in almost two years (usual protocol is to go every six months). The reason I stopped going was because I didn't see the use in paying £18 twice a year to spend longer talking to the nurse and dentist than I spent sat in the chair having my teeth checked. But I guess keeping up regular appointments is better than being taken off their books because I never go.

Ho hum.
blood_winged: (DenmarkxNorway - Holding Hands)
RE: the title. I do this a lot. I have this strange aversion to any kind of responsibility that I think comes down to a fear of failing. It's this kind of thing that makes me think I'm never going to be able to hold down anything more than a low-level job, because really, I just can't handle that kind of thing. It's silly, really, and I don't entirely understand it because it's not like I can't manage to do it when I have to. I've been a waitress before for heaven's sake and when I was doing that I was doing far more than what should actually be expected from a waitress. It is, however, the reason that I don't yet have a job. It's pretty useless trying to explain this to my mum because I know before I even begin what she'll say to me. That's it's just how things are, that I have no choice, that it's part of being an adult and I have to get used to it but I think it's the lack of choice that bothers me the most. I've never liked being forced into things, and adulthood is just yet another one of those 'no choice' situations that I'm vainly battling against.

I'm probably going to end up wasting my life e.e

Ah well, stuff to do, stuff to do. None of it is stuff I'm supposed to be doing, of course.
  • Clean out goldfish tank
  • Write PrUK aph_fluffathon fic
  • Write DenNor aph_fluffathon fic
  • Write TurkEgy fic
  • Reply to USUK roleplay
  • Write first chapter of Oblivion fic
  • Play Oblivon
To be honest, I will likely spend most of the day playing Oblivion. After I clean out the fish tank, because it really needs doing. The water smells weird e.e

The goldfish is still black, and actually it has got worse, but still his behaviour hasn't changed so I can only assume he's not suffering with it. He just.. looks kind of funny.


Jul. 12th, 2011 10:17 pm
blood_winged: (America - Red Glasses)
Almost half way through the [ profile] usxuk event and still going strong! Honestly I didn't know if I'd be able to continue it and granted I have had one late entry but [ profile] haro is made of awesome and I managed to slip by JUST THIS ONCE. Not that I wouldn't have posted it anyway because for some reason I'm insane and am doing a chapter fic in the middle of a community event. Well, if nothing else it'll make me keep at it.

Aside from that, I still have the two [ profile] aph_fluffathon fics to write, which I don't see as being a problem in the least though neither of them are USxUK. I do keep saying I want to branch out (then I go and write 28 USxUK fics. I MAKE SO MUCH SENSE).

It's always nice to realise that the people you look up and admire to are real people too. I've been in touch with Scott Sava (writer and artist of The Dreamland Chronicles) and his wife Donna for over a year without it ever really occurring to me that Scott is rather famous in his line of work, and I just spent half an hour talking to Adriana Blake (Fall On Me) about tea of all things. Which then resulted in my getting a cup of Baroness Grey and immediately burning my mouth on it. I don't know why but people like that (admittedly I thought the same of [ profile] haro and [ profile] abarero before I first started chatting to the former) always seem to be something 'other', but I've experienced it with people that have added me to msn from Livejournal, when they see me as someone special and such until they realise I'm actually just like anyone else xD It's funny, isn't it.

My fish are still alive and the tank is quite easy to clean so that's alright. They both seem quite lively.

I have JUST NOW seen the new photo for the dwarves Fili and Kili in the upcoming film of The Hobbit, and I am suddenly very excited.


There's also Dori, Nori and Ori, and Oin and Gloin.

Not too sure about Dori's hair =P I can't wait to see the others!

... buh.

Jun. 24th, 2011 08:51 pm
blood_winged: (PrussiaxEngland - Hold)
I've realised that I'm so desensitised to smut/porn that I judge it on visual aesthetic before I look at it as porn. What is going on.
blood_winged: (Default)
So it's been a little while since I posted a personal update, and I'm going to do one now. I'm starting this at 10:30 in the morning and I have no idea how long it's going to take me, because these entries always seem to take me forever.

I just checked, and it's been exactly two weeks since my last personal entry, so I can take it from there. I was stuck with the crippling pain for the rest of that day and the day after, (oh look, it's half past twelve. I got distracted) and as usual it affected my eating and sleeping habits, though far worse than it normally does. I've decided that if it's as bad next time I'm going to take it to the doctors because I can't keep being totally out of action for two or three days out of every month. I'll probably end up being put on some contraceptive pill or something, but I don't even care anymore.

As usual, I half killed myself getting all my assignments done on time. I don't know why I just don't keep to the resolution that I make every year (it's now 3:30, I got distracted again) and actually do my work in good time. I suppose I just manage better under pressure. Not that I'm terribly sure about the quality of this semester's assignments, but whatever, I got them in and that's all that matters. =_=

I've still been playing on Gaia, though not quite as much, probably because I've been doing all that work so maybe I'll get back into it now. I met a couple of nice people on there, and one very cool gal who shares so many of the same interests as me as well as being the same age and having just completed the same MA as I'm now doing. Small world, huh? 

Very little exciting has happened, though I'm beginning to get rather concerned about the state of my sister's mental health. I think she's hiding a lot more from us about how she's feeling, but at least she's getting a bit of help for it now. I'm worried, but at the same time I want to shake her and snap her out of it. Six weeks is far too long to still be crying over a boy. I don't know, maybe I seem a little cold, but she's making herself unwell and I looked at her today and realised how much weight she's lost.

Speaking of that, I've lost some weight myself. I'm currently standing at 5'7" and weighing in at 120lbs. Starting to become a slight problem now I think (it's now 4.30, I got distracted watching funny vids with sister). It's a lot harder to put weight on than it is to lose it, especially with my sleeping and eating habits... which I don't intend to change. I'm quite happy with how I am at the moment. Though speaking of my sleeping habits I haven't had a proper night of sleep in about a week. Part of that is my fault, though for the past two days I'm not sure what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to be able to sleep more than four hours at a time. It's not impacting upon me terribly since I don't have anything to do but it's still a pain.

In more interesting news, on Thursday night I went to see Rush. Who were absolutely fantastic. It was really good to see that they obviously still have so much fun with what they do, because really, at their age (57/58) they don't need to still be doing tours and they especially don't need to still be doing Europe tours, but they do. I never thought I'd get to see them but my dad, who is awesome, got us tickets about two weeks after we were discussing how we'd probably never get to see them.

It was a little bit strange, though. Rush have been going since 1968 and as a result most of the people there were 50+ year old men, so I felt a teeny bit out of place. I wasn't complaining, though, because it meant that there was no crazy shoving and pushing and people actually SAT DOWN, which was great because there's no way you'd get me standing up for three hours. My hands were so sore by the end from clapping and I had a really loud ringing in my ears when I finally got home and went to bed.

Dad wanted to know why so many of my friends knew who Rush were when none of his do. I just think I have awesome friends =3=

Yesterday, since dad was up here anyway, we went out with him (something we normally do on a Saturday) and we went to see the new Pirates film, which was.. alright, I guess. It wasn't amazing, but if you liked the others I'd say give it a watch, even if the mermaid subplot is really shoehorned in there (if you've seen it you'll know what I mean). After that I had a bit of stress when I realised I'd left my bag hanging over the arm of the seat in the cinema. Lucky I realised at all, I don't remember now exactly what prompted me to remember it, but I did, and thankfully it hadn't been busy at all so it was still hanging exactly where I'd left it with nothing missing. Phew.

I have some stuff that I want to get on with now that I have all that work out of the way. I need to update my newest fic and get my two fanworkathon fics done for the [ profile] usxuk  comm, I have three RPs to reply to (PrUK, UKJap, AmeLiet) and ooooh what else do I need to do... I need to read through 14 sci-fi short stories and pick my favourites before the end of the month for my internship, and I also want to get back into gaming. I want to finish Okami again and try to make some more progress on Kingdom Hearts, and I have a load of games to replay after my Xbox decided it didn't want to transfer my old saves. Ho hum.

Well look at that. It's now half past five and it only took me seven hours to finally get this entry finished. That must be a new record.
blood_winged: (USxUK chibimerica)
I hate the phrase "at the end of the day..."
blood_winged: (Denmark x Norway)

... Yeah.

Also, I made some icons!

America x1 )

DenmarkxNorway x5 )

Belgium x2 )


Hmm what else.

I decided recently that I was going to abandon the idea of being a teacher. I just don't think I can handle it, which left me with an odd predicament, since the last five or six years of my life have been spent working towards that career choice. Instead, I've decided to get into editing, which I have no idea how to get into.

So I asked my professor at university, and to my surprise, she tells me that she's setting up something and she'll give me some concrete information after the weekend. Great stuff =D
blood_winged: (China Stressed)
Today, I was woken at 11.30, saved the extra few hours by my sister being in, but she had to go out. I spent the entire day asleep on the sofa.

The damn delivery still hasn't come.

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

I got bored and made a list of all the places I want to see before I die. It's likely going to get longer, but I have 43 for now.

Click if interested - w - )
blood_winged: (Default)
I'm a liar, and I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself.

It's not lies that hurt people. In fact the only person I'm hurting is myself. I have trouble leaving the house, and it varies from day to day, sometimes worse than other times. When it's bad, and I skip university (which I do far too often), I lie about it. I lie because I don't want my mum to start yelling at me or my sister to start bitching.

Because they don't get it. Neither of them know what it feels like and it probably just sounds like I'm wallowing in self-pity but that's how it is. Some days I simply can't go outside. I can't face it. It's not something I want to talk to a doctor about because I'm stubborn, and I know that no amount of therapy is going to solve it.

I have plans for my life, you know? Where I want to be and what I want to do, but when it comes right down to it, I would much rather stay awake until 6am and sleep all day than get my butt out of bed and go to university to work towards that future.

Does it make sense to you? Sure doesn't make sense to me.


blood_winged: (Default)

November 2012

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