Dear Mother,

[blood_winged]

I'm sorry I don't fit into the neat little image of what you think I should be like. You can push and poke all you want but I'm never going to, so I guess I'm always going to be a failure to you. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to feel as if your own mother thinks you're worthless? I am not antisocial, I am not unreliable, and I am not lazy, I am an intelligent, sensitive and responsible young woman who you don't understand.

I have friends, and just because I've never met them it doesn't make them any less real to me. The guy I love lives in another country, but does that make the fact that he loves me back false? No, it doesn't, but you would tell me I'm being ridiculous. Do you have any idea how demeaning it is, to have your feelings trivialised by your own mother?

You want me to get a job. Sure, I can see the logic in it, but that doesn't mean I need, or want one. Perhaps you 'need' me to have one, to convince yourself that I'm not as weird as you thought, because really I think the money is a trivial thing. You never asked me for money when I was working in college, even though I offered. Why is wanting to be happy the 'wrong attitude'? Why is wanting to wait until I feel ready to work, instead of jumping in and being miserable the 'wrong attitude'? I'm not like you, mother, I didn't finish school and go straight into work, I want to go further than spending the rest of my life behind a desk in an office working with people I can't stand but act nicely to to their face.

I don't want to be like you. I don't want to work myself to the limit of my endurance. Sure, I might be poor, but I'll be happy, and I'll be doing what I want, not what you expect.

Most of all, I'm sorry that I don't have the courage to say all of this to your face.

Comments

[marokigirl.livejournal.com]

:(
I know a couple of friends that share your pain. *hughug* I'm sorry, dear.

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

-hughugback- <3

[kasumicc.livejournal.com]

Seems that mothers are the same no matter the country ._.
*pats*

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

-patted- ._.

[wolfdragon15.livejournal.com]

I have a friend with a mother just like yours. :(
Sorry to hear that dear. We're behind you all the way. /hug

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetie that means a lot <3

[arafs.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. You don't deserve this, no one does.
I hope you sort this out.

And one day, prove her wrong.

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

One day, when I'm living in Canada with my nice house and car with snow-chains on the tyres and my Mountie husband... -dreamy sigh-

[vampire-scooby.livejournal.com]

/hugs

I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel. My parents are like this too. Just think, one day when you're susscessful, rub it in your mother's face by sending her to some crap nursing home. -fails at cheering up-. I'm sorry that your mother's like that.

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

I know what she's trying to do... but she's going about it the wrong way =/

[komakinakao.livejournal.com]

Your mom and my mom should start a club. >.>

I know how you feel. For the most part, I've stopped caring about what my mother thinks of me, but it still hurts when she's the only person who can't be happy for me. At any rate, keep your chin up, and don't let the man woman get you down!

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

It's just sad that all it would take would be for her to step back a moment and ask me how I feel.