Avoiding responsibility.

[blood_winged]

RE: the title. I do this a lot. I have this strange aversion to any kind of responsibility that I think comes down to a fear of failing. It's this kind of thing that makes me think I'm never going to be able to hold down anything more than a low-level job, because really, I just can't handle that kind of thing. It's silly, really, and I don't entirely understand it because it's not like I can't manage to do it when I have to. I've been a waitress before for heaven's sake and when I was doing that I was doing far more than what should actually be expected from a waitress. It is, however, the reason that I don't yet have a job. It's pretty useless trying to explain this to my mum because I know before I even begin what she'll say to me. That's it's just how things are, that I have no choice, that it's part of being an adult and I have to get used to it but I think it's the lack of choice that bothers me the most. I've never liked being forced into things, and adulthood is just yet another one of those 'no choice' situations that I'm vainly battling against.

I'm probably going to end up wasting my life e.e

Ah well, stuff to do, stuff to do. None of it is stuff I'm supposed to be doing, of course.

• Clean out goldfish tank
• Write PrUK aph_fluffathon fic
• Write DenNor aph_fluffathon fic
• Write TurkEgy fic
• Reply to USUK roleplay
• Write first chapter of Oblivion fic
• Play Oblivon

To be honest, I will likely spend most of the day playing Oblivion. After I clean out the fish tank, because it really needs doing. The water smells weird e.e

The goldfish is still black, and actually it has got worse, but still his behaviour hasn't changed so I can only assume he's not suffering with it. He just.. looks kind of funny.