Bweh.

[blood_winged]

It's late, and I'm tired, so I'll be brief. I'm only writing this now because I planned to earlier and never got to it.

Labby went home this morning, and I'm still kinda miffed about it. I'd just got used to him being here and now he's gone =/ But ah well. I can only hope he'll be coming back and soon. If not... I should be able to go visit him some time, I hope. Probably not before October though, I need all the money I can get until then. We'll see, I'll look at how much advance tickets are and go from there.

Mother was in a bitchy mood today -.- I mean yeah, I get that she works all day and all that jazz but that doesn't give her the right to kick off at us because there's a couple of plates next to the sink. I simple request to do them would have been enough. Then I get yelled at for looking unhappy, because I wasn't feeling great (not had a decent night's sleep in weeks) and when Amy stuck up for me, she was off again. She then proceeded to ignore the both of us all evening. Can we say 'childish'? 
After dinner I went out for a walk. Was nice to be out of the house and by myself but it gave me too much time to think. Only Amy noticed I'd gone out. Oh well. Good job it's pretty safe over there anyway. Worked a little on my fic but I really need to get back into it. Or back into anything.

I feel, sometimes, like my entire life is a badly written film and I'm not even the main character. Nothing I do really impacts on the main story, it doesn't matter, but still I try because I'm hoping one day I'll be noticed. Sometimes I feel I'm the only person who feels like this. It makes me think - what if this entire world is a figment of my imagination? What if the wall behind me doesn't exist when I can't see it? What if I only feel it because I expect to? I shouldn't think about these kinds of things, it makes my head hurt.

Last night I managed to cut myself off from the internet by changing the security settings on my router via the laptop. Bit silly really - I was trying to do something, I didn't realise it would cut me off like that. So, instead of being the day of rest I'd hoped it would be, I ended up fretting until 6am and then waking up at ten to midday and getting straight up to fix it. Luckily I didn't do anything I couldn't fix from the desktop.

My God, that desktop. It's so slow I want to stab it.