I keep doing this and I hate myself every time.

[blood_winged]

I'm a liar, and I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself.

It's not lies that hurt people. In fact the only person I'm hurting is myself. I have trouble leaving the house, and it varies from day to day, sometimes worse than other times. When it's bad, and I skip university (which I do far too often), I lie about it. I lie because I don't want my mum to start yelling at me or my sister to start bitching.

Because they don't get it. Neither of them know what it feels like and it probably just sounds like I'm wallowing in self-pity but that's how it is. Some days I simply can't go outside. I can't face it. It's not something I want to talk to a doctor about because I'm stubborn, and I know that no amount of therapy is going to solve it.

I have plans for my life, you know? Where I want to be and what I want to do, but when it comes right down to it, I would much rather stay awake until 6am and sleep all day than get my butt out of bed and go to university to work towards that future.

Does it make sense to you? Sure doesn't make sense to me.

Comments

[blood-winged.livejournal.com]

Gracias :)